My dad reported me to the police because I hit him after attacking my mom, getting my sister to lie, but his life only goes downhill from there. I know the title sounds bad, but please hear me out. 18-year-old me has been dealing with my 45-year-old father’s neglect and emotional abuse toward my 42-year-old mother and our family for years.

 My 15-year-old sister and I grew up watching our dad prioritize everything before family. Let me give you some context. My parents met in college. Mom always says Dad used to be different—loving, fun, ambitious. They married young and had me right after graduation. Dad started his own business, which became successful, but success changed him.

 He became obsessed with work, money, and status. Mom put her teaching career on hold to raise us, but returned to work when I was 10. The problems started gradually. Dad missed family dinners for important meetings, skipped my sister’s dance recital because of work emergencies, and made excuses to avoid weekend trips.

 When he was home, he just sat in his office watching political videos or arguing with people on the phone. Every conversation turned into a lecture about how we weren’t working hard enough or how we were wasting his money. I can’t remember the last time we did anything as a family.

 Mom tried her hardest to keep us together. She planned movie nights, but Dad said movies were a waste of time. She organized family vacations, but Elo wouldn’t show up or would leave early, claiming he needed to be at work. The few times he showed up at events, like my graduation, he’d leave immediately after the formal part, without even taking pictures. The worst part is how he treats my mom.

He criticizes everything: her food, her job, her spending, her parenting. Mom works full-time as a high school teacher, but he acts like she’s a gold digger after his money. The truth is, most of his salary goes to household expenses, while he spends lavishly on himself.

 New car every year, expensive suits, fancy restaurants with business partners, but he complains if Mom buys new clothes or takes us out for ice cream. Their marriage has been in crisis for years. Mom suggested couples therapy several times, but Dad refuses. He says therapists are liberal brainwashers trying to destroy traditional marriages.

 When Mom mentions divorce, she threatens to ruin her financially and take my sister away. She knows Mom’s biggest fear is losing custody. I’ve been going through my own struggles lately. I started vaping and smoking marijuana in middle school to deal with stress. Last month, I decided to quit both.

 Withdrawal has been hell: anxiety, mood swings, insomnia. Not once did Dad ask how I was doing. He made disparaging comments about drug addicts and lectured me about how I was ruining my future. Mom was the one who supported me, researched withdrawal symptoms, and helped me stay clean.

 Yesterday was when things got ugly. I was in my room when I heard them arguing. Dad was yelling because Mom spent $100 on groceries without asking him first. Mom tried to explain that it was for my sister’s school bake sale. I heard him call her a useless idiot. Then came the sound I’ll never forget: a loud bang followed by Mom’s scream of pain.

 I didn’t have much time to think it through. I ran into his room and found Mom holding her cheek with tears streaming down her face. Dad was standing over her, his hands still raised. Years of pent-up rage washed over me. I lunged at him and punched him hard in the face. He recoiled back with blood dripping from his nose, looking shocked that his disrespectful son dared to hit him.

 Mom started yelling for me to stop. My sister ran in and started crying. Dad’s expression changed from shock to fury. He lunged at me, but I stood my ground. Mom stood between us, pleading with us to calm down. Dad grabbed the keys and stormed out, yelling that he was going to call the police.

 After he left, Mom broke down and told us everything. This wasn’t the first time he’d hit her. It had been going on for years. A slap here, a shove there, always when we weren’t around. She hid the bruises with makeup and long sleeves. She stayed because she was terrified that he would take us away or turn us against him, like he did her family.

Since last night, my phone hasn’t stopped filling up with messages. Dad’s family says I’m a violent drug addict who attacked their innocent father. Mom’s family is divided. Some say I was right to defend her. Others say violence is never the answer. My sister is staying with our aunt because she fears more fights.

Dad is threatening legal action for assault. Mom is finally talking to a divorce lawyer. I keep replaying that moment in my head. The sound of the slap, Mom’s scream. The feel of my fist connecting with her face. Part of me feels guilty for using violence. I was raised to believe that hitting people is wrong.

 But watching him hurt my mom brought out the worst in me. And even more so now that I know he’d been doing it for years while we weren’t aware. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Maybe I should have handled it differently, called the police instead of taking justice into my own hands. But after years of watching him emotionally abuse Mom, seeing him finally get physical, I couldn’t just stand there.

 Mom says violence isn’t the answer. But what do you do when someone won’t listen to reason, when they use their power to hurt and control others? I know hitting him probably made things worse legally. He’ll use it against Mom in the divorce. He’ll paint her as an incapable mother who raised a violent son.

 But I don’t regret standing up to him. I just wish I’d seen his physical violence before, protected Mom sooner. I’m worried about possible charges, but I’m more worried about what he might do to Mom or my sister if I’m not there to protect them. Edit. People say I can’t have withdrawal symptoms from quitting tobacco or marijuana.

 Try quitting something you also used to relieve stress and then tell me. They’re not hard drugs, but that [ __ ] will mess with your head. Update one. I don’t have an update where things have gotten even a little bit better. If anything, it’s gotten even worse. Dad made good on his threats and filed assault charges against me.

The police showed up at our house three days after the incident. They were actually quite understanding when Mom explained the situation, but they still had to follow procedure. I had to go to the station and give a statement. Dad’s version is completely twisted.

 He claims I’m an unstable drug addict who attacked him unprovoked during a normal conversation with Mom. He conveniently left out the part where he hit her. My mother has testified in my favor, but he’s lucky enough that my punch left more marks on him than the one he punched my mom. The experience of doing this for years has served him well.

 What’s really sick is how Dad is using this situation to manipulate my sister. At first, she was terrified of him after seeing what happened, but then he started buying her expensive gifts, a new iPhone, designer clothes, even a car she can’t even drive yet.

 He promised to pay for her entire college education if she tells the truth. Her version of the truth. Of course. And it worked. My sister completely changed her story. Now she claims she never saw Dad hit Mom, that I’m the violent one who attacked Dad for no reason. She even wrote a statement for Dad’s lawyer saying I have anger issues and she’s afraid of me.

 This is the same sister who used to cry on my shoulder because Dad’s behavior scared her. It breaks my heart to see how easily his loyalty was bought. Mom finally had the courage to file for divorce, but Dad is making it as difficult as possible. He emptied their joint accounts the day after the incident. Over $50,000 is gone.

 Money from an account my father didn’t put all of his money into. My mom’s savings over the years were also there. She had to borrow money from her sister just to hire a lawyer. Dad’s lawyer is also playing dirty. They sent letters threatening to use my history of drug use and violent tendencies to prove Mom is an unfit mother.

 They claim that his inability to control me proves he can’t adequately care for my sister. Dad even threatens to tell the school board that she’s mentally unstable, which could cost him his teaching job. His family is completely on his side. My grandmother, with whom I used to be close, called me a disgrace to the family.

 She said I should be ashamed for raising my hand to my father. When Mom tried to explain about the abuse, Grandma said she probably provoked it and that I should learn to be a better wife. My uncles are pressuring Mom to withdraw the divorce, saying she’s destroying the family over a petty marital dispute.

 The hearing for my assault charges was yesterday. Thankfully, the judge saw right through Dad’s act. She didn’t like my use of violence, but she understood the context. Instead of jail, I got 100 hours of community service and mandatory anger management classes. Dad looked like he was going to explode when the judge didn’t give him what he wanted—send me to jail or something like that.

 But the legal battles aren’t over. Dad’s lawyer is demanding a mental health evaluation, claiming that my drug history makes me a danger to others. They’re also pushing for a restraining order. Mom’s lawyer says she just wants to keep me away from places where he might victimize himself.

 My sister still lives with our aunt, but she’s now completely under Dad’s influence. She refuses to speak to me or Mom unless it’s to relay Dad’s messages about fixing our family. Yesterday, she texted Mom saying she’ll move in with Dad if she doesn’t withdraw the divorce.

 Mom cried all night after that message. The financial stress is getting to Mom. She tries to keep a brave face, but I hear her crying in her room at night. Her sister offered us a place to stay if things get worse, but moving would mean Mom quitting her teaching job.

 Dad knows this and keeps threatening to kick us out of the house. For now, we have nowhere else to go in the city. Unless we get money. Tomorrow, I’m going to my first anger management class. I know I need to learn better ways to handle conflict, but every time I remember Mom’s tearful confession about years of abuse, every time I see Dad smugly manipulating my sister, every time I see Mom struggling to pay the bills on her teaching salary while he lives comfortably, I don’t regret it.

beaten. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I’d rather be a bad person who stood up to abuse than a good person who stood by. Update two. We continue to uncover more dirt from my father, just how far his betrayal goes. Turns out Dad’s abuse and manipulation all these years was only part of the whole story.

 Everything came to light when Mom’s lawyer hired a private investigator to review the missing money from his accounts. The investigator discovered that Dad has been living a complete double life. He has another family, a 36-year-old girlfriend, and a 7-year-old son in a city an hour away. He spent all those late nights at work, business trips, and sudden emergencies with them.

 The worst part is that his girlfriend had no idea about us. She told him his wife had died years ago and that he was a grieving widower when they met. Financial records show he’s been keeping this family a secret for eight years. He bought them a house, paid for private school, took them on expensive vacations while telling Mom to stop spending on the basics we need here.

He even set up a college fund for his other son while refusing to contribute to mine. My sister finally saw Dad’s true colors last week. She was in his new apartment, the one he rented after moving out. She knows about our father’s double life. We told her so she could see what he’s like and get out of there in time before he does anything to her, but instead of waiting for us to pick her up, she went to confront him.

He literally said he only kept my sister on his side to hurt Mom in the divorce. My sister recorded the conversation on her phone, which was the only good thing about it all, because it could have ended very badly. That night, when we brought her home, she came back crying, finally understanding how Dad had been using her.

 Mom took her in without any guilt, not even a “I told you so.” My sister showed us all the texts where Dad coached her on what to say to the police and her lawyer. She agreed to tell the truth in court about Dad’s abuse and manipulation. The biggest shock came when Dad’s girlfriend contacted Mom. She found Mom’s contact information by searching social media after becoming suspicious of Dad’s stories.

 The girlfriend was horrified to learn it had been the other girl all these years. She thought Dad was a loving widower who worked too hard, not a manipulative abuser with his entire other family. The girlfriend is now cooperating with Mom’s lawyer. She provided evidence of Dad’s lies and financial deceit.

 It turns out he even used Mom’s identity to take out loans for his second family’s house. The girlfriend’s son looks exactly like Dad. There’s no denying he’s been cheating for a long time. Dad’s carefully constructed lies are unraveling fast. His family, who were so quick to condemn me and defend him, are now facing the truth about who he really is.

 My grandmother called Mom in tears, begging her forgiveness for not believing her. Even Dad’s siblings, who pressured Mom to reconcile, have stopped speaking to him. Criminal charges against me were dropped after my sister’s testimony about Dad’s abuse and manipulation. The judge was particularly disturbed by the recording in which he boasted about buying my sister’s loyalty.

 Even my father is facing charges of using a minor. I don’t know about my sister, but I don’t know how to repair that relationship after she literally sold me for money. But true justice is coming through the divorce process. Dad’s girlfriend is also suing him for child support. She quit her job years ago at his insistence, believing his promises that he would always provide for her and their son.

 Now she’s learned it was all built on lies. She wants nothing more to do with him, but she does want to make sure he keeps paying the money for her son. Between the two lawsuits and possible criminal charges, Dad’s empire is crumbling. Last night he showed up at our house drunk, begging Mom to cancel the lawyers.

 He kept saying he could explain everything, that he still loves us, that he just wants his family back. Mom just shut the door in his face while I called the police. When he refused to come until I’d had a conversation with everyone, he was arrested by the police. It felt good to see him led away in handcuffs after years of acting untouchable.

 My sister keeps saying it was a mistake, that she thought she was helping or whatever, but I can’t forgive her. She’s not a child, and she knew what her false testimony would do to me, especially false testimony to a psychopath like my father. I don’t know what my mother thinks of her.

 For now, she’s grateful that she told the truth and is helping with their divorce. But I keep my distance. I don’t talk to her much. The divorce proceedings are moving forward with all the new evidence. Dad’s lawyer has suggested he accept Mom’s terms rather than risk having his life further dismantled in court.

 I doubt he’ll follow the advice. His ego won’t let him give up without a fight. This is still a pretty tough update to write with a lot going on right now, but for some reason I feel hopeful that things will start to work out with my dad and we’ll have some positive news. Update three.

 The divorce was finally settled last week. After all his lies were exposed, Dad had no choice but to accept Mom’s terms. She was awarded primary custody of my sister, the house, and half of everything. That includes savings and part of the business. The judge was especially harsh after seeing the evidence of his financial deceit and manipulation.

 His girlfriend also won her lawsuit. The court ordered her to provide child support, plus compensation for her lies over the years. Between the two settlements, Dad’s fortune was practically gone. He had to sell his business to cover the payments. My mother also had to sell her share of the company because she wants nothing to do with it.

 The biggest blow to Dad, however, wasn’t financial, it was social. He lost his status, something he valued greatly, when the scandal became public. His drinking worsened after that. Most of our relatives have cut off contact with him, especially after he started drunkenly calling everyone to complain about his life.

 I don’t know if there’s anyone in his immediate family who initially defended him and who still keeps in touch. That whole family thing is in the past for us. After defending a wife beater and thinking I was wrong for giving him a little of what he deserved, he keeps trying to contact us, even though it’s clear we don’t want anything to do with him.

 Sometimes he sends angry texts about how we’ve ruined his reputation. Other times he just wants to check in on my sister and me, claiming he’s doing everything he can to change, but doesn’t want us to leave him alone. Last month, he showed up at Mom’s school, causing such a scene that security had to be called.

Now she has a restraining order. As for the criminal charges, they weren’t that much after all. Just double the community service I’d been given, plus financial compensation for the damages caused. My sister was put in therapy by my mother after receiving a warning from the judge for making a false statement.

 I think she was lucky to be younger. My mother doesn’t want to give up on her because she’s her daughter, and she believes she still has a chance at life if she improves. And that chance lies in going to therapy and working through everything she did wrong. I still have virtually no contact with her, as I can’t forgive anything she did.

 Some of the things my father bought to bribe them are in my mother’s possession now, as a peace offering. That’s why she hasn’t sent her away or anything like that, preferring to reform her, so to speak. But until I see it over time, it’s very hard for me to believe that. Mom is slowly rebuilding her life. She started going out again, meeting a very nice guy at church.

 He’s completely different from Dad, but I hope it’s not the same as with Dad, who seemed like a different person at first. Dad’s girlfriend recently got in touch. Her son is asking questions about his half-siblings. He wanted to know if we’d be open to meeting him someday. So far, we’ve only known them through photos and phone calls.

Mom left that decision up to my sister and me. The boy shouldn’t suffer for his father’s sins, but all this is hard enough without rushing into anything. The positive thing for me is that I no longer feel the urge to smoke a cigarette. The stress isn’t as bad as it used to be, and it’s been a while since I tried my last one.

I feel motivated that I’ve been able to quit two addictive and bad habits, like cigarettes and my father. I think I’ve made a huge improvement in my life without those things. Update four. I don’t know why, but I woke up wanting to do a life update. Nothing concrete has happened, but a lot has changed in these four years.

 For starters, my mother remarried. If you recall, she started dating someone else shortly after the divorce. Well, they got married a month and a half ago. I just hope she learned her lesson from her first husband and that this will help prevent a repeat of history. I can’t say he’s anything like my father, but according to my mother’s stories, he was a good man when they were first married, and then he took this turn for the worse.

 Well, bad is an understatement. He turned into a psychopath. The wedding was quiet, with no problems of any kind. If you were expecting my father to do anything, I’m sorry to say he didn’t, which is probably due to his dramatic change. The wedding also served as a way for me to see my sister again after a long time.

 Our relationship has been courteous, if I must call it that, although I wouldn’t really call it a relationship because we’ve barely exchanged a word at the odd event in years. I usually tried not to attend Christmas or anything else she had after leaving home. And this wedding was our first meeting in almost two years.

 Maybe we just said hello and that was all the interaction for the night. According to my mother, she’s better after years of therapy, but I’m grateful she didn’t push for a reconciliation. And my father, well, he remained the same. For a while, the alcohol problem became a permanent issue until one day he got into a bar fight with a guy that sent him to the hospital for a few days.

 I don’t know if I hit him that hard, but I was also very intoxicated. After that, he entered a rehab program, and we’ve lost track of him a bit since then. What we do know is that he’s straightened his life out a bit and is living a much calmer life than before. It’s not enough for any of us three to forgive him, but if it helps prevent him from causing more problems, it’s positive.

 Edit: I’m still staying away from my vices. I haven’t smoked in over four years, maybe five, and I’m very moderate with alcohol after seeing what it did to my dad. Maybe a beer once a month for a birthday, but that’s about it.